Silly Sailor Moon Shorts
by Lady Aishiteru
Summary: Two of my Sailor Moon short stories, which are not connected to each other in any way, shape or form, "Dude Looks Like a Lady," and "Krispy Kreme Krisis." Note: "Dude" is a crossover fic.
1. Dude Looks Like a Lady

Dude (looks like a lady)   
A songfic by Lady Aishiteru  
Disclaimer: Original lyrics by Aerosmith, and last time I checked, Yu Watase owns Fushigi Yugi, and Naoko Takeuchi owns Sailor Moon. There. 'Nuff said!  
  
_Opens with Seiya walking into a bar._   
Cruised into a bar on the shore   
Her picture graced the grime on the door   
She a long lost love at first bite   
  
_Seiya notices a beautiful woman, who is wearing a Chinese dress with long, violet hair, and sipping a beer at a table._  
Seiya: Wow! Check out the babe!  
  
Baby maybe you're wrong but you know it's all right   
That's right.   
  
Nuriko: Hey, handsome! *motions for Seiya to come with finger*  
  
Seiya: Oooh, baby! Hey, what's your name?  
  
Nuriko: Nuriko.  
  
Seiya: What a pretty name. I'm Seiya.  
  
_They walk, arm in arm, to an area backstage.(the bar has live music)_  
  
Back stage we're having the time   
Of our lives until somebody says   
Forgive me if I seem out of line  
  
Seiya: Forgive me, but I couldn't help but to stare at your beauty.  
Nuriko: *blushes and nods*   
Seiya: Can I kiss you?  
Nuriko: Okay.  
  
_ They start to kiss_  
  
The she whipped out her gun   
Tried to blow me away.   
  
Seiya: *backs away* What's this pressing against my hips? Do you have a gun?  
Nuriko: Eh heh heh...  
  
Love put me wise to her love in disguise   
She had the body of a venus   
Lord, imagine my surprise.   
  
Seiya: Um, before we go any further, I have to tell you something, Nuriko.  
Nuriko: That's funny, I was about to say the same thing.  
Seiya: I'm....not what you think.  
Nuriko: You mean you're not Kou Seiya, the famous Japanese singer?  
Seiya: No, that's not it.  
Nuriko: Thank the gods. *whips off shirt*  
  
Baby let me follow you down   
Let me take a peek dear   
Baby let me follow you down   
  
Seiya: AGH! IT'S FLAT!  
Nuriko: *pushes against Seiya's chest* Duh! Of course it's flat! Waitaminit....what are these two objects....*pats lower, Miaka-style* And there's nothing here!  
  
What a funky lady   
She like it, like it, like it like that   
He was a lady.   
  
Seiya: .....Ew! I kissed a MAN!  
Nuriko: Ew! I kissed a WOMAN!  
  
Turn the other cheek dear   
  
Seiya: *slaps Nuriko* How dare you, you queer!  
Nuriko: *throws Seiya* Look who's talking!  
Seiya: *groans in pain* Owwwww.....  
Nuriko: Well, I'm off to burn my clothes and take a long, hot bath. Bye!  
  
Seiya: *rubs head and attempts to adjust her rumpled clothing*  
_Hotohori person comes backstage.__  
Hotohori: Hey, are you all right, miss?  
Seiya: Wow, you're beautiful.  
Hotohori: Thanks. Everyone says that.  
__ And so it begins again...poor Seiya! She sure knows how to pick 'em...._  



	2. Krispy Kreme Krisis

Krispy Kreme Crisis  
by Lady Aisheteru  
Email: Lady_aisheteru@hotmail.com  
Website: http://www.geocities.com/anniemaniac_99/index.html  
  
Lady A: Have you ever *been* to Krispy Kreme? If not, then I suggest   
you haul your poor donut deprived self off to your nearest Krispy   
Kreme and stuff yourself silly with...the glazed, what else? If there   
was such a thing as "donut of the gods" those would be it. Anyways, I   
was wondering....I'd be willing to bet that such a delectable donut   
would not go unnoticed by certain gluttonous anime characters...and   
perhaps denizens of the Negaverse...anyways, enjoy!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Geez, would you get a load of that line?" asked Makoto.  
  
"Yeah, and that's only the drive-through," said Minako.  
  
"But it's totally worth it, minna! Naru says that they're to DIE for,"   
said Usagi.  
  
"That's NOT funny, Usa" said Mamoru, who had somehow been dragged into   
this trip. He had faced up to Queen Beryl and had literally been brought   
back from the dead. He didn't want to hear about death or dying for a L  
ONG time.  
  
Of course, Usagi didn't have to work very *hard* at getting Mamoru to   
take her and the girls to Krispy Kreme. He couldn't help it....he was   
a slave to her puppy dog eyes. But, looking at the happy expression   
that they contained when he said yes, he honestly admitted to himself  
that he didn't mind one bit. Life was a precious gift...too precious   
for regrets.   
  
Usagi, Minako, Makoto, Ami, Rei and Mamoru were standing in front of   
the Krispy Kreme donut shop, which had recently been built just outside   
of Tokyo. Naru had been raving about the donuts ever since the donut   
shop had opened its doors, and Umino had been blabbing about the tasty   
pastries all over cyberspace. Which was unusual for Umino, whose online   
gossip usually involved pretty girls.  
  
"Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go in!" enthused Usagi.   
  
"I don't know...you know that each donut is 210 calories, 110 of them  
from fat..."  
  
"Oh, Ami, don't be such a wet blanket. Live a little," said Makoto,  
elbowing Ami.  
  
"Ouch!" said Ami, glaring at Makoto, who had the grace to grin   
sheepishly.   
  
Everyone else rolled their eyes and joined the long, long line.  
  
"Oooh, oooh, you can see how the donuts are made!" exclaimed Makoto.  
  
"Hai, I've read all about it. They've been using the same recipie since  
1933, which the founder purchased from a failing donut shop in Paducah,   
Kentucky..."  
  
"Geez, Ami! You sound like a textbook! Must you make even a DONUT seem  
like school?" whined Usagi.  
  
Ami simply blushed and everyone else giggled, used to Ami getting   
frequently carried away when it came to information.   
  
"OHMIGOSH!" squealed Usagi, disentangling herself from Mamoru's arm.   
"It's the SAMPLE LADY! Oooh, oooh, over here, onegai!"  
  
The sample lady smiled and walked towards the girls. "Mmmm!" said Usagi,  
grabbing a donut. "Sample sample sample!" She got all starry eyed and   
tore into her donut.   
  
"I do enjoy watching customers enjoy their food," said the sample lady,   
smiling. "Would you girls also like a sample?"  
  
Minako, Makoto, Rei and Ami all eagerly nodded and happily enjoyed   
their donuts.   
  
"Well, my name is Kristen." said the lady. "Let me know if you need   
anything else."  
  
"WAIT!" shouted Usagi.  
  
"Yes?"   
  
"I'm still not convinced! I need another sample." she said, smiling.  
  
"Gomen, but everyone only gets one sample." she said, walking on.  
  
"BUT I NEEED A DOOOOONUUUUUT!" exclaimed Usagi.   
  
"Relax, koiishi. I'll buy a dozen glazed, just for you," said Mamoru,  
smiling.  
  
"Really?"  
  
Mamoru nodded.  
  
"SUGOI! You're the BEST, Mamo-chan!" she said, enveloping her hapless  
boyfriend in a crushing bear hug.  
  
"Uh oh...." whispered Rei to Makoto. "Sugar high alert."  
  
"She'll be bouncing off the walls for days," agreed Makoto.  
  
Rei giggled as Usagi continued to stare, starry eyed, into space. But  
even Mamoru wasn't sure if her loving gaze was due to him...or the   
donuts.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
"Mmmm...thefe awe the BEFT!" said Usagi, her mouth full of donuts.  
  
"Geez, Usagi, we don't need to see the contents of your mouth!" wailed  
Rei.  
  
"But thefe awe SO GOOB!"   
  
"Definetly gross," said Minako.  
  
"What is that, the sixth donut you've eaten?" asked Makoto, arching her  
eyebrows.  
  
"Sevenf," said Usagi, reaching for another donut. She swallowed and  
said, "Mamo-chan said I could have this dozen all to myself," she   
said.  
  
"But not all at once!" exclaimed Ami. "That's over a thousand calories   
you've eaten in half an hour!  
  
Mamoru smiled. 'Where DOES she put it all?' he wondered. He stared at  
his love, a medical miracle at a mere ninety pounds. 'Then again, it's  
not like she doesn't work out,' he thought, remembering all the times  
he had crashed into Usagi during her weekday marathons to Juuban junior   
high, plus her battles as Sailor Moon.  
  
"Well, it's getting late, minna. We have to be heading home," said   
Minako.  
  
"Should I tell your mother you're at the temple?" asked Rei, smiling.  
  
"Hai," said Usagi, looking up at Mamoru adoringly.  
  
"Geez, with all the nights you've slept at the temple, your parents  
must think you're pretty religious by now," said Makoto.  
  
"Yeah, right, I'm a regular miko in training," said Usagi, laughing.  
"Ja minna! See you all tomorrow, right?"  
  
"Yeah, we could use some serious shopping to burn off those donuts,"  
said Minako.  
  
"Definetly," agreed Usagi, watching her friends leave Mamoru's apartment.  
  
"Well, I'll be taking my bath now," said Usagi.  
  
"OK, just promise you'll leave some hot water for me," said Mamoru,   
smiling.   
  
"Oh, come on, Mamo-chan, I thought you were coming with?"  
  
"U-usako!" he said, flushing beet red. He then took off into the   
bathroom, locking the door, turning on the shower water.  
  
"Hey! Come on!" yelled Usagi, pounding on the door. Even though she   
really didn't mind at all. Although she couldn't help wondering how   
Mamoru took such long showers and still left more than enough hot water   
for her bath...  
  
It was all part of their little game. She teases him, he showers, then   
she falls asleep at the door and he carries her to bed and drifts off   
to sleep by her side. He smiled as the icy water cooled him off. He   
never got tired of it.   
  
He exited the shower clad in his favorite towel and bathrobe and smiled   
at the sight of his sleeping angel. He was about to carry her off   
when he heard her communicator go off.  
  
Sighing, he opened the compact, revealing a breathless Luna staring  
desperately at him. "Mamoru!" she said.  
  
"We really need to stop meeting like this, Luna," he said to the black   
cat.  
  
Luna rolled her eyes. "Wake up that Meatball Head and tell her that   
there's trouble at the Krispy Kreme!"(AN: Like you didn't see that one   
coming!)  
  
"Hai, Sailor Catnip," he said, smiling and shutting the compact as she   
ranted on how much she HATED to be called that name. He gently shook   
his beloved and moments later they were leaping from rooftop to rooftop   
on their way to the donut shop.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Luna, you said there was trouble here!" exclaimed a tired and VERY  
cranky Sailor Moon.  
  
"Yeah, it's quiet enough to hear a pin drop!" said Sailor Venus.  
  
"I know what I heard," said Luna, licking her fur in annoyance.  
  
"Are you sure it wasn't just a bad reaction from all that tuna you  
ate?" asked Usagi, rubbing her eyes.  
  
"HAI!" she shouted.   
  
"Well, let's get to it, then," said Sailor Mars, "I need my beauty  
sleep.  
  
"That's for sure," quipped Sailor Moon.  
  
"HEY! You take that back!"  
  
"No way. I only speak the truth," said Sailor Moon, nodding smugly.  
"Just look at all those bags under your eyes..."  
  
"GRRR! Oooh, I don't have TIME for this!" she said, storming into   
Krispy Kreme.   
  
Once inside, they heard a blood curdling scream. "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"  
  
*grumble grumble* "Just make me a donut, you pathetic human!"  
  
"I've told you, I'm not trained to run the machine! Come back   
during regular business hours!"  
  
"'Pathetic human'?" asked Sailor Mercury.  
  
"How rude," agreed Sailor Mars.  
  
The Senshi all rushed into the back of the store. But nothing could  
prepare them for what they saw. Sailor Moon was the first to burst   
out laughing, and even the stoic Tuxedo Mask could hardly keep a  
straight face.  
  
Cornering a poor, harassed Kristen(AN: The sample lady, remember?)  
was a pissed off, and presumably hungry Rubeus, holding a large,  
bag-like object and waving it threateningly at the senshi.  
  
"STAY BACK!" threatened Rubeus. "Or THIS ONE gets it!"  
  
Sailor Moon started to give her obligatory speech, "You corner poor  
employees to feed your evil desires! This evil will not do! In the  
name of the Moon, I will...I will...." But she was unable to finish,   
breaking out in a fit of hysterical laughter.  
  
"Come on, get it together, Sailor Moon!" said Sailor Mars.  
  
"B-but he's...attacking her with.....a....FROSTING GUN!" she said,  
rolling on the floor laughing.  
  
"Oh." said Rubeus, dropping the gun. For a big Dark Moon general,  
he felt very foolish. "Esmeraude's going to have a field day with  
this one, I just KNOW it," he mumbled.  
  
Sailor Moon stopped laughing and said sympathetically, "Look, I've done   
some pretty silly things in the name of food," she said, patting Rubeus   
on the shoulder. "But is a donut really worth all this? Why didn't  
you just BUY a donut?"  
  
"Well, I don't have any money. Us super-villains don't make all that  
much money. We mainly get paid in rioting, mayhem, that kind of thing.  
Besides, it wouldn't be very villain-like to come in and BUY a donut!  
It wouldn't sit well with my reputation," he finished, sniffing.  
  
"Well, if you just leave this place, your reputation will go unharmed,"  
said Sailor Moon.  
  
"Aw, but I wanted to fight!" he said.  
  
Mars came up to Sailor Moon and looked her straight in the eye.  
  
"You mean we're LETTING him get away?  
  
Sailor Moon nodded.  
  
"OK, then I will go. But you haven't heard the last of Rubeus!" he said,  
disappearing off in a warp hole.  
  
"Whew. I'm glad that's over. Boy, I hope I haven't missed the Late show,"  
said Jupiter.  
  
Suddenly Rubeus reappeared, grabbing a box of glazed donuts. "But I'm   
taking THESE with me!" he yelled triumphantly, then vanished.   
  
The Senshi all shook their heads, untied Kristin and were about to call  
it a night when Sailor Moon said, "Unfair! He got the last box!"  
  
"Come on, Sailor Moon, we've all had a busy night. Let's go..." said  
Tuxedo Mask.  
  
"NO! Not until she makes me a donut!"  
  
At this, all of the senshi face-faulted.  
  
"But I'm the superheroine of Tokyo! I deserve a donut!"  
  
"Of course, Sailor Moon," said Tuxedo Mask, rolling his eyes. "Come on,   
I'll buy you a dozen tomorrow..."  
  
"But I want it NOW!"  
  
But it was no use as Tuxedo Mask lifted Sailor Moon off, and carried her,  
kicking and screaming, into the night.  
  
"Geez, I don't get paid enough for this," said Kristin. She shrugged her  
shoulders and began to clean up.  
  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*END*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Lady A: Like it? Hate it? R&R please! Ja minna! 


	3. Krispy Kreme Krisis - MST version

_Krispy Kreme Crisis  
by Lady Aishiteru_

  
  
_Lady A: After sending this story to an MST writer, and not seeing any finished product, I figured I'd take a crack at this myself.  After all, if I can't laugh at myself, what am I doing posting my fanfics anyways?  I knew this story was dumb when I finished it, and I know I can't stay mad at myself for too long.  I'm too cute.  Hah!  Just kidding!  Enjoy my hackery!  Later!_

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Geez, would you get a load of that line?" asked Makoto.  
_Lady A: And would you get a load of that opening line?_

"Yeah, and that's only the drive-through," said Minako.

"But it's totally worth it, minna! Naru says that they're to DIE for," said Usagi.  
  
"That's NOT funny, Usa" said Mamoru, who had somehow been dragged into this trip. He had faced up to Queen Beryl and had literally been brought back from the dead. He didn't want to hear about death or dying for a LONG time.  
  
Of course, Usagi didn't have to work very *hard* at getting Mamoru to take her and the girls to Krispy Kreme. 

_Lady A: Well, **duh.  **It's times like this that I'm VERY jealous of Usagi…waitaminit…she's FICTIONAL!  _

He couldn't help it....he was a slave to her puppy dog eyes.   
_Lady A: Once again, some girls have all the luck!  
  
_But, looking at the happy expression that they contained when he said yes, he honestly admitted to himself that he didn't mind one bit. Life was a precious gift...too precious for regrets.   
_Lady A: Or corny B-movie dialogue._  
  
Usagi, Minako, Makoto, Ami, Rei and Mamoru were standing in front of the Krispy Kreme donut shop, which had recently been built just outside of Tokyo.   
_Lady A: Where else?  Aren't all the new stores in the SM continuum located in or around Tokyo?_

Naru had been raving about the donuts ever since the donut shop had opened its doors, and Umino had been blabbing about the tasty pastries all over cyberspace, which was unusual for Umino, whose online gossip usually involved pretty girls.  
_Lady A: Well, that and Monty Python and The Holy Grail.  We are the Knights That Say Ni!  Ni!_

"Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go in!" enthused Usagi.   
  
"I don't know...you know that each donut is 210 calories, 110 of them from fat..."  
_Lady A: Sad, but true.  The rest are probably sugar.  
_  
"Oh, Ami, don't be such a wet blanket. Live a little," said Makoto, elbowing Ami.  
  
"Ouch!" said Ami, glaring at Makoto, who had the grace to grin sheepishly.   
  
Everyone else rolled their eyes and joined the long, long line.  
  
"Oooh, oooh, you can see how the donuts are made!" exclaimed Makoto.  
  
"Hai, I've read all about it. They've been using the same recipe since 1933, which the founder purchased from a failing donut shop in Paducah, Kentucky..."  
_Lady A: This is actually true, at least according to the Krispy Kreme website.  _  
  
"Geez, Ami! You sound like a textbook! Must you make even a DONUT seem like school?" whined Usagi.  
   
Ami simply blushed and everyone else giggled, used to Ami getting frequently carried away when it came to information.   
_Lady A: Hey!  I resemble that remark…_  
  
"OHMIGOSH!" squealed Usagi, disentangling herself from Mamoru's arm. "It's the SAMPLE LADY! Oooh, oooh, over here, onegai!"  
  
The sample lady smiled and walked towards the girls. "Mmmm!" said Usagi, grabbing a donut. "Sample sample sample!" She got all starry eyed and tore into her donut.   
  
"I do enjoy watching customers enjoy their food," said the sample lady, smiling. "Would you girls also like a sample?"  
  
Minako, Makoto, Rei and Ami all eagerly nodded and happily enjoyed their donuts.   
  
"Well, my name is Kristen," said the lady. "Let me know if you need anything else."  
  
"WAIT!" shouted Usagi.  
  
"Yes?"   
  
"I'm still not convinced! I need another sample," she said, smiling.  
  


 "Gomen, but everyone only gets one sample," she said, walking on.  
  
"BUT I NEEED A DOOOOONUUUUUT!" exclaimed Usagi.   
_Lady A: ME TOO!  _

_………_

_Hey, get back here!  I MUST have a donut!  Never mind that I'm diabetic!  It's WORTH it!_  
_Lady A sees men in white coming towards her  
Lady A: Eep!     
 _  
"Relax, love. I'll buy a dozen glazed, just for you," said Mamoru, smiling.  
  
"Really?"  
  
Mamoru nodded.  
  
"SUGOI! You're the BEST, Mamo-chan!" she said, enveloping her hapless boyfriend in a crushing bear hug.  
  
"Uh oh...." whispered Rei to Makoto. "Sugar high alert."  
  
"She'll be bouncing off the walls for days," agreed Makoto.  
_Lady A: Boingy, boingy, boingy, boingy…  
_  
Rei giggled as Usagi continued to stare, starry eyed, into space. But even Mamoru wasn't sure if her loving gaze was due to him...or the donuts.  
_Lady A: I'd say it's a tie._

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Mmmm...thefe awe the BEFT!" said Usagi, her mouth full of donuts.  
  
"Geez, Usagi, we don't need to see the contents of your mouth!" wailed Rei.  
  
"But thefe awe SO GOOB!"   
  
"Definetly gross," said Minako.  
  
"What is that, the sixth donut you've eaten?" asked Makoto, arching her eyebrows.  
  
"Sevenf," said Usagi, reaching for another donut. She swallowed and said, "Mamo-chan said I could have this dozen all to myself," she said.  
  
"But not all at once!" exclaimed Ami. "That's over a thousand calories you've eaten in half an hour!  
  
Mamoru smiled. 'Where DOES she put it all?' he wondered.   
_Lady A: Probably in her odangos. Maybe I should call her Sailor Donut Head…nah ;)   
  
_He stared at his love, a medical miracle at a mere ninety pounds. 'Then again, it's not like she doesn't work out,' he thought, remembering all the times he had crashed into Usagi during her weekday marathons to Juuban junior high, plus her battles as Sailor Moon.  
_Lady A: Well, she MUST work out a heckuva lot!  I still say she stores food in those odangos.  Or maybe she puts it in her locket when Luna's not looking…_  
  
"Well, it's getting late, minna. We have to be heading home," said Minako.  
  
"Should I tell your mother you're at the temple?" asked Rei, smiling.  
  
"Hai," said Usagi, looking up at Mamoru adoringly.  
  
"Geez, with all the nights you've slept at the temple, your parents must think you're pretty religious by now," said Makoto.  
  
"Yeah, right, I'm a regular priestess in training," said Usagi, laughing. "See you all tomorrow, right?"  
  
"Yeah, we could use some serious shopping to burn off those donuts," said Minako.  
  
"Definitely," agreed Usagi, watching her friends leave Mamoru's apartment.  
  
"Well, I'll be taking my bath now," said Usagi.  
  
"OK, just promise you'll leave some hot water for me," said Mamoru, smiling.   
  
"Oh, come on, Mamo-chan, I thought you were coming with?"  
_Lady A: Remember, kiddies; nice girls **don't** do this to their boyfriends!_  
  


"U-usako!" he said, flushing beet red. He then took off into the bathroom, locking the door, turning on the shower water.

"Hey! Come on!" yelled Usagi, pounding on the door. Even though she really didn't mind at all. Although she couldn't help wondering how Mamoru took such long showers and still left more than enough hot water for her bath...

It was all part of their little game. She teases him, he showers, then she falls asleep at the door and he carries her to bed and drifts off to sleep by her side. He smiled as the icy water cooled him off. He never got tired of it.   
_Lady A: Excuse me?  I'd get tired of cold showers PRETTY quickly.  They don't work anyways…_

He exited the shower clad in his favorite towel and bathrobe-   
_Lady A: See what I mean?_

…and smiled at the sight of his sleeping angel. He was about to carry her off when he heard her communicator go off.  
  
Sighing, he opened the compact, revealing a breathless Luna staring desperately at him. "Mamoru!" she said.  
  
"We really need to stop meeting like this, Luna," he said to the black cat.  
_Lady A: Like Mamoru would ever say that!_

Luna rolled her eyes. "Wake up that Meatball Head and tell her that there's trouble at the Krispy Kreme!"  
_Lady A: Like you didn't see that one coming!  This fic is **so** much fun to MST…  
_  
"Hai, Sailor Catnip," he said, smiling and shutting the compact as she ranted on how much she HATED to be called that name.   
_Lady A: Like Luna would let him live after that!  Good thing Mamoru keeps his doors locked at night…_

He gently shook his beloved and moments later they were leaping from rooftop to rooftop on their way to the donut shop.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

  
  
"Luna, you said there was trouble here!" exclaimed a tired and VERY cranky Sailor Moon.  
  
"Yeah, it's quiet enough to hear a pin drop!" said Sailor Venus.  
  
"I know what I heard," said Luna, licking her fur in annoyance.  
_Lady A: Hairball alert!_  
  
"Are you sure it wasn't just a bad reaction from all that tuna you ate?" asked Usagi, rubbing her eyes.  
_Lady A: Here it comes!_  
  
"HAI!" she shouted.   
_Lady A: Don't you mean "HA-ACK?"  
Luna: Well, if you insist, HACK!  
Lady A: Well, that was uncalled for!_

"Well, let's get to it, then," said Sailor Mars, "I need my beauty sleep.  
_Lady A: And some hormone replacements to quell your permanent PMS, chickie!  Oops!  Did I say that out loud?_  
  
"That's for sure," quipped Sailor Moon.  
  
"HEY! You take that back!"  
  
"No way. I only speak the truth," said Sailor Moon, nodding smugly. "Just look at all those bags under your eyes..."  
_Lady A: Not to mention your odangos are on too tight…_  
  
"GRRR! Oooh, I don't have TIME for this!" she said, storming into Krispy Kreme.   
  
Once inside, they heard a blood-curdling scream. "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"  
  
*grumble grumble* "Just make me a donut, you pathetic human!"  
  
"I've told you, I'm not trained to run the machine! Come back during regular business hours!"  
  
"'Pathetic human'?" asked Sailor Mercury.  
  
"How rude," agreed Sailor Mars.  
  
The Senshi all rushed into the back of the store. But nothing could prepare them for what they saw. Sailor Moon was the first to burst out laughing, and even the stoic Tuxedo Mask could hardly keep a straight face.  
  
Cornering a poor, harassed Kristen _(AN: The sample lady, remember?)_ was a pissed off, and presumably hungry Rubeus, holding a large, bag-like object and waving it threateningly at the senshi.  
  
"STAY BACK!" threatened Rubeus. "Or THIS ONE gets it!"  
  
Sailor Moon started to give her obligatory speech, "You corner poor employees to feed your evil desires! This villainy will not do! In the name of the Moon, I will...I will...." But she was unable to finish, breaking out in a fit of hysterical laughter.  
  
"Come on, get it together, Sailor Moon!" said Sailor Mars.  
  
"B-but he's...attacking her with...a...FROSTING GUN!" she said, rolling on the floor laughing.  
  
"Oh." said Rubeus, dropping the gun. For a big Dark Moon general, he felt very foolish. "Esmeraude's going to have a field day with this one, I just KNOW it," he mumbled.  
  
Sailor Moon stopped laughing and said sympathetically, "Look, I've done some pretty silly things in the name of food," she said, patting Rubeus on the shoulder.   
_Lady A: What donut-seeking glutton wouldn't?  I would!  
_"But is a donut really worth all this?"  
_Lady A: YES!  
_ "Why didn't you just BUY a donut?"  
  
"Well, I don't have any money. Us super-villains don't make all that much money. We mainly get paid in rioting, mayhem, that kind of thing. Besides, it wouldn't be very villain-like to come in and BUY a donut! It wouldn't sit well with my reputation," he finished, sniffing.  
  
"Well, if you just leave this place, your reputation will go unharmed," said Sailor Moon.  
  
"Aw, but I wanted to fight!" he said.  
_Lady A: Everybody was Kung-Fu fighting!  Na na na na na na…_  
  
Mars came up to Sailor Moon and looked her straight in the eye.  
  
"You mean we're LETTING him get away?  
_Lady A turns stops singing…thank goodness _J  
  
Sailor Moon nodded.  
  
"OK, then I will go. But you haven't heard the last of Rubeus!" he said, disappearing off in a warp hole.  
  
"Whew. I'm glad that's over. Boy, I hope I haven't missed the Late Show," said Jupiter.  
_Lady A: Not to mention midnight on Cartoon network!  No, I am not a paid endorser…  
_  
Suddenly Rubeus reappeared, grabbing a box of glazed donuts. "But I'm taking THESE with me!" he yelled triumphantly, then vanished.   
  
The Senshi all shook their heads, untied Kristen and were about to call it a night when Sailor Moon said, "Unfair! He got the last box!"  
  
"Come on, Sailor Moon, we've all had a busy night. Let's go..." said Tuxedo Mask.  
  
"NO! Not until she makes me a donut!"  
_Lady A: Hear, hear!  Make one for me, too!  _  
  
At this, all of the senshi face-faulted.  
  
"But I'm the superheroine of Tokyo! I deserve a donut!"  
_Lady A: _And _I'm the author, dammit!  Well, of this fanfic, anyways…_    
  
"Of course, Sailor Moon," said Tuxedo Mask, rolling his eyes. "Come on, I'll buy you a dozen tomorrow..."  
  
"But I want it NOW!"  
  
But it was no use as Tuxedo Mask lifted Sailor Moon off, and carried her, kicking and screaming, into the night.  
_Lady A: I'd like to see this in the anime.  It'd be priceless.  
_  
"Geez, I don't get paid enough for this," said Kristen. She shrugged her shoulders and began to clean up.  
_Lady A: Neither do I!  Oh yeah…I'm not Naoko Takeuchi…am I?  Lady A looks in the mirror. _ _Didn't think so.  _

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*END*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*


End file.
